Moa & bump: maternity photoshoot in the Coromandel, New Zealand
I have never cried when photographing someone, but I was moved to tears in this shoot with Moa. You’d think it would be the hormonal Mama-to-be getting emotional, but nope, it was me.
Moa is due a day after I was due last year. This shoot brought back a lot of mems for me in my final stages of pregnancy as babe took up more and more room and the winter season really began to set in. I began to nest, to feel warm, to protect and to retreat to the home.
The backstory
It was never my intention to shoot hapū Mamas for the Soulskin series. But when Moa messaged me nominating herself to be a part of my project, I couldn’t help but say heck yeah. And I’m so glad I did, because we made magic, and the experience filled my soul!
I asked Moa how she feels she has returned to her wild self in Motherhood. I felt it was a little different question for her as she is still a maiden. But her answer resonated with me and my own experience in pregnancy.
This was Moa’s experience;
“I feel like as soon as my baby entered my womb this fire started that made me shed so many layers (in a very raw and emotional process tbh) and come back to my truest rawest self. Before being pregnant I would find it hard to find confidence to speak my truth, to be fully in my body, to dance, to sing, to express, and now it’s all so easy, it’s like I’ve got this fire that fuels me and makes me SO strong. It also feels like she’s made me SO much more connected to my intuition, to my ancestors and to the natural world. Living a life in harmony with nature has always been important but it feels like I NEED to live in alignment with my values, to do what I dream of doing and to live fully now that I’m bringing a child into this world.
I’ve also felt a big need to be held by nature throughout my pregnancy, to go into the bush with bare feet, walk slowly and be with the ancient trees. In a strange way I haven’t felt as drawn to the ocean as I used to be, but felt very drawn to the big trees and old bush, I think it’s the feeling of being held rather than cleansed/the openness of the ocean. So lots of slow bush walks, yoga and dancing in the outdoors, gardening, laying under a tree, picnics under the trees, reading books in the grass, etc.”
Arghhhh this resonates so much!
When I fell pregnant I experienced extreme morning sickness. I could not even look at the ocean as it made me feel motion sickness. As a part of this healing, my partner took me into the forest as that’s where I felt drawn to. I had the message from reiki healers that Nature would hold me.
I remember clearly sucking on a Juicy on our journey inland, the feeling of nausea never quite leaving me. Until I set foot in the forest, walking amongst the ancient trees, bathing in the fresh water. When I think back to that experience, I don’t feel nausea, I just feel totally at peace. The forest was inviting me in, to ground, to be present. Navigating away from the ocean, and finding the forest, was a huge part of entering motherhood for me. Pipe dreams of surfing until I was in the third trimester were well and truly vommed away in those early weeks. And ya know, I was actually ok with that.
The shoot
When Moa messaged me on the day we were meant to shoot, and told me she wanted to curl up in the warmth, I understood immediately. As excited as she was to shoot, she wanted to postpone.
In fact, I felt so proud of her for listening to her body, for already recognising the priority of babe and self-care - something that I don’t think I fully reached until postpartum (and still am working on now).
We ended up shooting the following day and it was written in the stars that we would shoot that day. The sun shone, we both had fresh energy. It felt right.
The goosebumps, the reflections, the white clivia and the droplets of water… this photo sums up the beauty of this photoshoot in the Coromandel with maiden as she begins her transition into motherhood.
A healing moment
Photographing Moa and her baby girl brought back all the feels. I remember back then I just felt pregnant, I felt like a woman with a bump, some alien thing wriggling inside me and a lot of pain in my rib cage.
I felt little connection to my baby pre-birth besides many people saying they do. And I won’t blame that for the struggles we had post partum but it certainly played its part in my struggle to connect with Lola as a newborn. I know now that I need to find out the sex if I have that option, because it was too much to take in at one go after she was born.
Now when I see Moa in her essence - the maiden but soon to be Mother - I see two souls. I see babe in there. I feel babe in there. She is practicing connection already. And their bond is tangible.
The presence of the Mother
This Mama-to-be is grounded, conscious and connected to the little being growing inside her. She let me in to a very special and intimate time in her last weeks nurturing babe, and as she looked down lovingly at her bump, humming to babe, I welled up.
Truly, I felt I the presence of the Mother. Conscious, connected, as she hummed to her little one, fantails fluttering around us and the trees grounding us. In absolute peace, I felt in total awe of Moa and the little one she is so connected to already, as she let me glimpse and document this extremely intimate and special time.
Maybe it was bringing back sweet memories for me when my Lola girl was close to coming Earthside. But all I know, is that everything went silent as I documented this special moment.
I was present with Moa in this tangible connection of pure, raw love as she prepares to transition from maiden to mother.
Thank you Moa.
L x